I have this theory that you can test people’s romantic compatibility by testing their ninja/pirate compatibility. I believe ninjas are superior; therefore I’m best suited with someone who also believes in the superiority of ninjas.

This game I found today adds to my growing mound of evidence of the ninja’s superiority. It’s not rock-paper-scissors (or even rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock). It’s Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie. In the game, ninjas beat pirates by karate chopping them. I rest my case.