The finale hasn’t started yet. I’m going into this based on a skimming of the main Wikipedia article and being friends with Lost fans. No, I didn’t ask them about the series, but all of them are excited and of course sad about the finale. Incidentally, I’ll be going to bed really late when compared to when I have to be up tomorrow morning.

The pre-show chat on the ABC website mentions something about a smoke monster. I’m thinking this is a smoke machine–you know, the kind you make smoke out of for dramatic effect. The writers will show up on the island and reveal themselves. IT’S A TRAP.

Oh, is it starting now? This is one of the things I love about having two computers.

Curly-haired guy kisses a girl’s hand, walks off.Girl looks heartbroken. Oh, this is the theme song. Don’t theme songs normally show the stars? Man, that guy looks heartbroken. Did I stumble on the stranded island version of Days of Our Lives? Oh, this is some weird montage.

Wait, what are these people doing on a stage? I’m pretty sure these resources aren’t available on an island. Neither’s a van, for that matter, but Hurley’s driving (don’t ask me how I know his name).

This is one nice island. How are they getting food, though? Or is ABC’s website going into some retrospective before the show starts? I have no clue.

The beer can says BEER. I love it.

Wait, this guy’s talking on a phone. What kind of stranded island is this? Also, his nose is bleeding. And that’s the same curly-haired guy who broke the girl’s heart and kissed her hand.

I have a feeling I’m going to want these 150 minutes of my life back by the end. Oh well, I’m getting a blog post out of it. A bunch of guys looking down a hole with fire in the sky that will surely destroy them.

I just thought of something. What’s the point of having a TV show about a stranded island if you’re

Oh, here we are. Back to the island. I think. And here’s the…Dharma pimp van? And Hurley and the guys are in suits in the water? Really? I know you may be short on clothes, but wear casual clothes when you’re in the water. And where’d you get that much food, Hurley? Save some for everyone else! Surely people have died. Take A Modest Proposal to heart.

Awww, a doggy.

Okay, that curly-haired guy is definitely sucking up to the girl whose heart he just broke. HEY WAIT I JUST FIGURED OUT LOST. It’s going to be like Memento, right? We’re going to see the past six seasons in 150 minutes? I thought so.

I know they don’t have that many batteries on the island for Hurley’s CD player.

Wait a minute. I remember seeing something on Wikipedia about flashbacks and flash forwards. If there are flashbacks and flash forwards, then one of three things must happen.
1. They get off the island somehow.
2. They’re all living parallel lives.
3. They’re all clones and they’re connected to their original bodies.
There are probably other options.

Looks like I’m just getting clips from the previous episode. Right now there’s a guy sitting on a porch chair, and another one sits down. A command to murder, eh? And knowing that he’ll leave the island?

And apparently the stream is now pulling me along without showing the episode. Bastards. At least I can get some sleep.

Then I started to think. What other mundane activities could turn into TV shows?

You’re Hired: Watch the job search of a group of unemployed people from various walks of life. Watch them write resumes and cover letters, struggle to get the word out that they’re looking for a job, let them go to any heights to find a job and impress potential employers, tape the excitement that they actually got a job interview, tape the interview itself, along with the thank you note and the nail-biting that goes along with waiting. Will she get hired? Won’t she? Stay tuned!

Survivor, Foreign Travels Edition: Throw a group of people in a foreign country where none of them know the official language(s) spoken. Give them a dictionary and basic challenges: Make a restaurant reservation, go to a major tourist spot, master the public transit, give directions when asked, go grocery shopping, go to the post office, see a doctor, watch a movie, go to a sporting event, etc.

The Real World (no, really) : Throw a bunch of freshly minted grads out into the real world and record their adventures with figuring out how to get a job, pay the bills, and still have money left for fun. Show their adventures in cooking, unclogging the toilet, dealing with cantankerous neighbors, fending off unwanted visitors, and other activities previously left to Mom and Dad.

Adventures in Frantic Novel-Writing: Show what’s going in the lives of a group of NaNoWriMo novelists, from signing up for the challenge on October first (or returning to the site for the veterans) to wasting time, stocking up on writing snacks, posting on the forums, rallying for free shrimp dinners, trying to convince people to do NaNo, and finally, writing (or putting off writing).

These don’t have any hope of becoming real TV shows, though, probably because they’re too real.

When South Park decided to make fun of Facebook and Chatroulette in one episode, I had to watch it. Luckily it’s available online for everyone’s viewing pleasure and laughter because everything mentioned in that episode is true. Even the Yahtzee.

Don’t worry; I’ll be livetweeting the National Spelling Bee–probably all by myself. That topic probably won’t trend, though.

Despite my lack of commitment to television, people still recommend programs for me to watch. First it was Numb3rs, an understandable choice because of my mathematical background. This recommendation came in droves. After watching half an episode online over a shaky connection, I gave up, resolving to try again when the opportunity presented itself.

Then my brother, who can’t do anything without the TV as background noise, recommended The Big Bang Theory, a show about two genius physicists, their nerdy friends, and their non-geek neighbor. “You’d like it,” he told me. “It’s about a bunch of nerds, and they’re all socially awkward, and there are a bunch of nerd jokes.” At first I wanted to say “So that’s how you see me?” I kept my mouth shut. He persisted. I reminded him of my lack of TV.

The recommendations continued to come, and they gave the same reasons as my brother (though concentrating more on the nerdy side than on the socially awkward side). This week I no longer had an excuse: I let slip to members of my alma mater’s physics club heard that I had never seen the show, and the club was hosting a marathon. Would I like to come? The game was up now.

Everyone was right, even Little Brother. I laughed straight through the twelve episodes we watched. The jokes were perfectly timed; the characters were well-developed, real, and quirky; and best of all, no one was kidding about the jokes being geeky. I wanted to strangle Sheldon from across the screen at least once an episode, but it was in a loving way. The only negative I found about the show was the laugh track. I found myself laughing in all the right spots and even in spots where the laugh track didn’t laugh. If a viewer doesn’t get the joke, they’ll likely wonder why it was so funny to start with or just write off the joke as dumb.

The verdict: I may be biased because I am a self-proclaimed geek. If you are too, give this show a try. You won’t be disappointed. The continuity-obsessed freak in me just needs to finish all the other episodes first.