My NaNoWriMo novel, autosummarized

I’ll get back to the 20 things I need for survival list tomorrow. Today is special, though. I finished my NaNoWriMo novel at 73,006 words, and in honor of that occasion, I opened Microsoft Word. I don’t particularly enjoy using Microsoft Word (or most Microsoft applications for that matter). In fact, one of the few reasons I’m still using Windows is because I haven’t found a suitable Linux replacement for RoughDraft, a free word processor for writers complete with a side notepad. The side notepad is what I’m trying to replace. Any suggestions are welcome.

However, I opened Microsoft Word because of a feature it has that most other word processors lack: autosummarize. I posted a 100-word summary of my novel-in-progress to the NaNoWriMo forums. Now that it’s finished, it’s time for a slightly longer summary.

Derek had none. “Derek!”
Derek knew him. Derek didn’t listen. “Bye, Derek.”
Derek shot back.
Derek asked. Derek stared at Alicia and at his pumpkins.
“Oh,” Derek replied. Derek stared back at the happy pumpkin. Derek asked himself. “Morning, Mom,” Derek said.
Mom turned to Derek. “My pumpkins,” Derek told her.
“Morning, Derek. Derek exclaimed. “Someone stole my pumpkins,” Derek said.
Derek nodded. Derek nodded again. Derek asked.
“My pumpkins were stolen, Alicia,” Derek said. Derek nodded.
Derek gulped. Derek kept going. Derek saw this. Derek sighed. “Derek? Derek LASTNAME?”
“Okay,” Derek said. “True,” Derek conceded. Derek sighed. Derek 867-5309

“I am Derek,” Derek said.
Derek nodded. “Thanks,” Derek said.
“No,” Derek said.
“Just some pumpkins.”
Derek looked up. “Derek,” Marta whispered. Derek asked himself? “Derek!” Derek turned around. Derek told him. Derek asked.
Derek’s insides shuddered. Derek panicked slightly. “Derek didn’t care. Love knew Derek’s story.
Derek said rhetorically.
Derek sighed. “No,” Derek lied.
Derek never did. “Silly talking pumpkins? Derek’s heart jumped. “Good,” Derek said. “Thanks,” Derek said. Derek announced. Derek paused. Derek sighed. Pumpkins. Derek thought. Shit, Derek though. My name’s Derek? “You’re a pumpkin.”
“Have you ever seen Derek’s pumpkins?” “Nobody,” Derek lied.
Derek asked.
Derek asked.
Derek asked. “Yo, Derek.” Derek nodded. The pumpkin master. Derek paused. Derek nodded. “Wait,” Derek replied. Derek asked. Derek sighed. Derek had his pumpkins. “Derek’s pumpkins?” Derek’s mother asked. Pumpkins don’t talk.”
About Derek. Derek’s mother asked. Derek’s mother paused. Derek nodded. Derek asked them. Derek pointed again. Derek asked.
Derek sighed. Derek asked.
Derek asked. Derek exclaimed. Derek sighed. Derek asked. Derek asked. “A pumpkin?”
Derek’s heart jumped. Derek asked.
Derek asked. Derek asked. “Uh,” Derek replied. Derek nodded. Night, Derek.”
“Hi Alicia,” Derek said.
Derek nodded. Derek asked.
Derek nodded. Floating.”
Derek admired his newly carved pumpkins. Derek stopped short. “Night, Mom,” Derek said. Derek LASTNAME?”
Derek said. Derek looked away. “You’re Derek’s pumpkin. Derek would ask.
“Your kid’s pumpkins? The pumpkin? “Derek? Derek was stunned. Derek shrugged. “Floating pumpkins?” he asked. Derek sighed. Derek said, pointing. Derek said. Pumpkins don’t talk. “You’re Derek’s friend. Derek yelled. Derek stopped short. Derek shrugged. Derek asked. Nothing about floating pumpkins. Derek asked.
Derek nodded. Derek asked.
Derek nodded. Derek asked.
Derek stared blanky. Derek asked.
Derek asked.
Derek asked.
“Oh,” Derek said. Derek yelled. “What, the pumpkin?” Derek nodded. Derek asked.
Derek nodded. Derek though. Derek asked.
Derek asked. Derek gulped. Derek wondered.
“The pumpkin’s fine. “A floating pumpkin!” “Derek!” Derek looked up. Derek looked around. “That includes floating pumpkins.”
Derek gulped again. Derek exclaimed. Derek nodded. Derek asked. Derek nodded. Derek gaped. “No, Derek. Derek was the true pumpkin master?
“Derek!”
Derek nodded. Derek asked. Raymond walked toward Derek.
Derek asked. Derek asked.
Derek nodded. Derek looked around. Derek asked Raymond.
“Thanks,” Derek said. Derek nodded. “Derek!” “Derek,” Louisa said. Derek gulped. “Derek,” Louisa said. Derek nearly jumped. Derek ran toward the pumpkin booth. Come here, Derek.” The pumpkin master ushered Derek to the pumpkin booth.

***
Based on this alone, anyone want to guess what my novel’s about?

2 thoughts on “My NaNoWriMo novel, autosummarized

  1. I’m guessing that it’s about Derek and pumpkins. And possibly Derek’s mother. Reading that kinda gave me a headache, though…

    • Don’t worry; it gave me a headache too, but it made me laugh so hard. And yes, it’s about Derek and pumpkins, and his mother is fairly significant in the book. It’d be interesting to see how the autosummarize changes as the novel gets better.

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