Liveblog: Lost finale

I’ve decided to watch the Lost finale. I’ve never seen a single episode. Who knows? I may understand just as much as someone who has watched all six seasons. Below are my thoughts, published periodically through the episode. Beware, there will be spoilers and nonsense.

The finale hasn’t started yet. I’m going into this based on a skimming of the main Wikipedia article and being friends with Lost fans. No, I didn’t ask them about the series, but all of them are excited and of course sad about the finale. Incidentally, I’ll be going to bed really late when compared to when I have to be up tomorrow morning.

The pre-show chat on the ABC website mentions something about a smoke monster. I’m thinking this is a smoke machine–you know, the kind you make smoke out of for dramatic effect. The writers will show up on the island and reveal themselves. IT’S A TRAP.

Oh, is it starting now? This is one of the things I love about having two computers.

Curly-haired guy kisses a girl’s hand, walks off.Girl looks heartbroken. Oh, this is the theme song. Don’t theme songs normally show the stars? Man, that guy looks heartbroken. Did I stumble on the stranded island version of Days of Our Lives? Oh, this is some weird montage.

Wait, what are these people doing on a stage? I’m pretty sure these resources aren’t available on an island. Neither’s a van, for that matter, but Hurley’s driving (don’t ask me how I know his name).

This is one nice island. How are they getting food, though? Or is ABC’s website going into some retrospective before the show starts? I have no clue.

The beer can says BEER. I love it.

Wait, this guy’s talking on a phone. What kind of stranded island is this? Also, his nose is bleeding. And that’s the same curly-haired guy who broke the girl’s heart and kissed her hand.

I have a feeling I’m going to want these 150 minutes of my life back by the end. Oh well, I’m getting a blog post out of it. A bunch of guys looking down a hole with fire in the sky that will surely destroy them.

I just thought of something. What’s the point of having a TV show about a stranded island if you’re

Oh, here we are. Back to the island. I think. And here’s the…Dharma pimp van? And Hurley and the guys are in suits in the water? Really? I know you may be short on clothes, but wear casual clothes when you’re in the water. And where’d you get that much food, Hurley? Save some for everyone else! Surely people have died. Take A Modest Proposal to heart.

Awww, a doggy.

Okay, that curly-haired guy is definitely sucking up to the girl whose heart he just broke. HEY WAIT I JUST FIGURED OUT LOST. It’s going to be like Memento, right? We’re going to see the past six seasons in 150 minutes? I thought so.

I know they don’t have that many batteries on the island for Hurley’s CD player.

Wait a minute. I remember seeing something on Wikipedia about flashbacks and flash forwards. If there are flashbacks and flash forwards, then one of three things must happen.
1. They get off the island somehow.
2. They’re all living parallel lives.
3. They’re all clones and they’re connected to their original bodies.
There are probably other options.

Looks like I’m just getting clips from the previous episode. Right now there’s a guy sitting on a porch chair, and another one sits down. A command to murder, eh? And knowing that he’ll leave the island?

And apparently the stream is now pulling me along without showing the episode. Bastards. At least I can get some sleep.

One reply on “Liveblog: Lost finale”

Ah, innocence… I was like you when I saw the show for the first time in the middle of the third season or so. Now, whatever you do, just don’t watch the first episode. You might find yourself shut up in your home for a whole week, unable to stop watching the entire six seasons in a row.

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