Meet the Frankenburger

My brother loves fast food. I don’t like most fast food, but my love of the occasional greasy bacon cheeseburger is undeniable, even if the grease goes straight to the heart afterward. At least it’s not Big Mac sauce, I tell myself. Some people love it. I’m not one of them, choosing to squirt ketchup and mustard (no mayo; that’s another condiment I avoid) on my burgers.

But what if you want to combine the best of every fast food burger? The sauce (if you’re into that), the vegetables, the burger, the cheese, the bun? Where do you start?

Enter the Frankenburger. It combines what the testers believed to be the best of the Big Mac, the Whopper, and the Half Pound Double from Wendy’s. Of these three, I would only eat the Half Pound Double on its own, which is why I find the Frankenburger especially disgusting. Maybe that’s because of the sauce–and the vegetables. We must be careful not to neglect those.

Oh, and the fries. The addition of fries in a burger is new to me, but maybe they were added to this creation so the consumer can eat an entire meal in fewer bites. Fast food just got faster. Considering the majority of the Frankenburger that I would actually eat are made of Wendy’s components, I think Wendy’s is safe for now, especially since Wendy’s has Frosties.

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