Too much of a good thing

Is there such a thing as too much candy?

Don’t get me wrong. I really like candy, and I only discriminate in the sense that the candy must be tasty. But let’s look to my right. Besides the usual suspects of my current read, my iPod, a small markerboard, my college ring, a bottle of ink, a bottle of lotion, my phone, my keys, a dead watch, and other various knickknacks, we have:

* about a fifth of what was once a foot-high solid chocolate bunny (R.M. Palmer, ridiculously sweet)
* half a bag of Life Savers Jelly Beans (the mango ones are particularly tasty)
* one small Milky Way egg
* a Heath bar
* a KitKat bar (I’m amazed these two have lasted this long)
* two Reeses Peanut Butter eggs
* four Cadbury Creme Eggs (I had two more at one point, but they got eaten)
* about a third of a huge Russell Stover coconut creme egg covered in dark chocolate
* a whole huge Russell Stover strawberry creme egg covered in milk chocolate

That’s a lot of candy. Believe it or not, I didn’t buy any of this, though given the craving I probably would have bought a small portion of this stash myself.

The amount of candy I have brings up a serious question: When am I going to eat all of it? I don’t eat that much candy. I usually eat bits and pieces here and there when I’m hungry and don’t want to fix a real snack. I’m not a pig, so I’m not going to eat that entire bag of jelly beans in one sitting. It’ll probably take me all month to eat all this candy, and that’s a conservative estimate based on my known candy-eating rate. See, I told you I’m a slow eater.

All this candy now is giving me a good reason not to go on post-holiday candy binges, as good as the idea sounds. Maybe I should start going on fruit binges instead. That’s much healthier and almost as good.

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