Hotel NaNoWriMo

The idea of writing a parody to “Hotel California” for NaNoWriMo has been stuck in my head since October. Now that my current NaNo novel is about a writer doing NaNo, and I had some spare time today, this came out easily in that time between morning and afternoon. The best part is that it’s actually relevant.

“Hotel NaNoWriMo” by Sushi (sushimustwrite)
Original: “Hotel California” by the Eagles

On the Internet highway, surfing links to links
Discovering new things, getting sucked in time sinks
Up ahead in the distance, I saw the Wrimonia sign
My head then perked up, and I looked ahead
I’d heard this through the grapevine
There were writers all over
Trebuchets and pell mell
And I was thinking to myself
“This could be heaven or this could be hell”
Then I noticed Wrimo Hall, and I walked on that way
There were voices all around the square
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel NaNoWriMo
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Such a lovely pace
Plenty of plots at the Hotel NaNoWriMo
Muses near and dear
You can find them here

But there were no plots to be found, at least none that would play nice
All I had come November first was some bad advice
Wrimos write on their laptops, tales to beget
Some write to remember, some write to forget

So I called up the forums
“Can I please resign?”
They said, “We haven’t had such quitting here since 1999”
And still the editor’s calling from far away
Poking me in the middle of a war
Just to hear me say

Welcome to the Hotel NaNoWriMo
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Such a lovely pace
You give up your soul at the Hotel NaNoWriMo
Kiss your time goodbye (kiss your time goodbye)
Kiss your life goodbye

Staring at a blank screen
Two more K would suffice
The mod said, “Take some dares, Mr. Ian Woon, and a plot device”
And in the steel cage of doom
They tried to get ahead
They stab it with their steely sporks
But the editor’s not dead

Last time I tried to write, I was
Untangling my plot
I pondered quitting once again
Just like all those years not fought
“Don’t quit,” said Chris Baty
It might be a reprieve
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave.