Some job hunt laughs

When you’re looking for jobs, you usually don’t want to go to the same place where people look for sex. This means Facebook is out too, but LinkedIn is still in (for now). Still, today I hit up Craigslist just to poke around, see what was there, and bemoan the fact that the people who write those poorly written ads have jobs and I don’t. I found one such ad and replied to it, including a corrected version of the advertisement in my reply and not expecting to hear back, just like with those other hundreds of jobs I applied to.

A few hours later a reply arrived. As expected, it was from a place I had never heard of, but the reply was so bad it was almost good.

I have received your email about our recent job listing on craigslist. I overlooked your resume, and I think we could actually use you for this position.

First, Craigslist is capitalized, as much as we hate to admit it. If you overlook a resume, you didn’t look at it at all. But actually? Wow, that’s harsh. It gets better, though.

However before we continue could you forward me over a credit report and reference?

I smell a scam.

We do not want any documents with your social security number on it, so please darken that part out.

Oh, I’m sure you’d love to get your hands on that.

To view your free credit report, visit [a URL where credit reports will likely not be found] and just print it out and email it to us. If you would like to send your report via fax, send it to [some fax number]. Your credit score isn’t factored into you getting the job, it is only used as an outlined for reliability.

Then why do you want it? Oh, that’s right. Your scam is showing.

For your reference, please give me the number of someone I can call and just ask a couple of questions about you regarding character and work ethic. A former employer, co woker, teacher, relative, or friend is fine. Thanks!

A co woker? I’ve never used a wok. With a little persuasion, some coworkers can vouch for me, though. I don’t use them to cook in, though.

The lesson we take away from this: Don’t cook your coworkers. That never makes them happy.